RESONANCE

GENESIS MCCREE (treasurer, copy editor, content creator)

If I had to describe the past year, the word “resonance” comes to mind.

the quality or state of being resonant a quality of evoking response

a synchronous gravitational relationship of two celestial bodies

a state of delocalized electrons a quality of richness or variety

I think the concept of resonance is fascinating because, when you think about it, everyone is in their own states of resonance. The chemist would talk about the wavering electrons in a bond. The musician would talk about the soft vibrations that linger in the air. One day, you’ll wake up feeling like the world bows before you. The next you’re only one in eight billion with an existence that holds very little meaning to the overall picture of the world.

Everyone lives through different images of themselves in other people's eyes. To one, you tinted with a hero filter from someone who feels you saved them. To another, you are the obstacle they need to overcome to reach a long sought-after dream. Our interactions with people shape and mold us along with the tide of our feelings until all we are in the end are just breathing conglomerations of experiences and emotions. Together, our existences mix until we’re all just different perspectives of the same life.

At least, that’s how I think of my own existence. But I recognize that some perspectives are blocked or seen through closed eyes. Ignorance is bliss when one ignores the cries of others.

Subtle glances and actions can weigh heavy in a person’s mind over time. Living in a cycling state of comfort and discomfort outlines the very foundations of life. To wake up one day and be forced to endure the cacophonous sounds that destroy the peace that could exist. The closing of a door never felt more oppressive, cutting me off from a space that should be my own too. Like I’ve been punished for the simple act of breathing. A necessary means of a typical life experience. At least, that’s what I tell myself for my uncomfortable haven of a home. Though, that’s only a piece of the story.

My skin had never felt so much more like a target of disgust. Whether it be through blatant disregard of my whole presence to the uncomfortable shuffling people have when I sit in a space they previously deemed safe. Sometimes it feels as though I’m the Clarks’ living through a personalized “Doll test” through my existence here. Sometimes it felt as if I lost more than the hourly wage could make up. The very core meaning of myself challenged through the actions of others, making me feel as though I am the problem. Causing thoughts to consume me, forcing a heavy weight on my shoulders. But then, I’d remind myself who I am and push the ideas others try to cultivate.

Out of sight, out of mind.

But then the idea of resonance comes to mind. Accumulation of experiences shape our opinions of people and ideas until we lie in an echo chamber where the only voice we want to hear is our own. I wonder at what point we no longer find ourselves between these polarizing experiences. Between grey states of ethical grounds and inconsistent feelings of life.